*Contains talk of medical explanations and possible miscarriage or stillborn babies.
Have you ever had an experience that unexpectedly brought you closer to the Lord? For me, it was a potentially risky pregnancy this past summer. After my first pregnancy went off without a hitch, it was a surprise to hear that my baby girl might have heart issues on top of a possible threat to her life in the womb, as well as the possibility that I could bleed out at any moment.
The Medical Stuff
For those of you versed in some medical terms for pregnancy, I was told I had placenta previa as well as a marginal insertion of the umbilical cord. While these two issues are not a huge concern alone, when together they can cause problems. In addition, it was believed that I had Vasa previa. The ultrasound tech was also unable to see all 4 chambers of her heart and saw a spot on her heart that needed further review.
To make things more simple, the biggest concern was that the umbilical cord would rupture or detach and the baby would bleed out in the womb within minutes. I would then begin to bleed out as well.
Mom Anxiety
The truth of the matter is that I never once feared for my own life. I’m sure if you’re a mom reading this, you understand. There’s something about motherhood that puts your own well-being on the back burner so that everything can be given to our kids.
However, the moment I was given the news, my heart sunk for my baby girl. At 20 weeks along, she had a name, a big brother that was so excited to meet her, and parents that already loved her unconditionally.
I remember getting in the car with my husband after the appointment. The anxiety was already rolling off him. I was already teary-eyed. I told him how much I needed her to be okay. He assured me she would be, despite his own fears. As a paramedic, David is wonderful in crisis. But that also means that he understands all of the medical stuff way better than I do. In some ways that’s a blessing. In others, it can be a burden to him.
As they say, sometimes ignorance is bliss.
After a choked up phone call to my mom and then my in-laws, I decided the only way I would make it through this – the only way Nora Grace had a chance – was to give it to God.
Giving it to God
That night I rocked my son to sleep and prayed harder than I ever have before. I read my Bible for the first time in months. I held my first baby close and found the faith I needed to hope that my second would be with us in just a few months, healthy and loved.
Over the next 5 weeks I was required to be off work and spent a lot of time in the Word and with the Lord. At the end of those 5 weeks I had an appointment with a specialist that would either confirm or deny our fears. By this point in my journey with God, I had the faith that she would be okay. But I also had the faith that if she weren’t, I would still trust in His plan.
My husband and I spent over an hour in with the specialist’s ultrasound techs as they took picture after picture. Several minutes later, we found ourselves face to face with the specialist himself. It always seems in situations like this they drag out the inevitable. After a million questions for us to answer, we finally got the answer to the question we had. Is our baby going to be okay?
Yes. She’s just fine.
It was like a weight lifted from our chests.
The original problems had corrected themselves. The potential problem with her heart looks like nothing to worry about. The possibility of a death (mine or hers) is not even close to being likely. I could return to work. Every worry we had seemed to disappear with the reassurance of the specialist.
It was the Lord that took care of us.
Jeremiah 17:7 says “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” The entirety of our experience with this pregnancy points to this particular verse. What’s amazing though, is I didn’t find this verse until I did my daily devotional while on a little break from writing this post.
Isn’t that awesome? Months later God is reminding me of what I experienced and the peace that I felt in completely trusting Him.
I had a repeat c section on the morning of November 19. I cried tears of joy as I heard my baby cry out, then more as they lifted her above the curtain and showed me her head full of beautiful hair.
My girl is 5 weeks old now and perfectly healthy. My God has proven to me how blessed we are because of our trust in Him.
It is a lesson I hope to never forget. I imagine He doesn’t plan on allowing me to do so.